Temporary insanity

Moving sucks.
I am officially no longer a Dallasite. Since my lease is ending this week and my surgery is coming up so soon (less than three weeks away--16 days to be exact), I decided to move in with my parents in Kennedale. My dad and sister (Misty) work from home, so they'll both be able to take care of me. Mom works, but she'll be around me quite a bit, I know!

My other sister, Wendy, will also be living at home for a few months while she opens a new business in the area, so we'll have a full house.

While I love my parents and their home, I hope to be back in Dallas, living on my own, by May. We'll see how everything goes.

So Saturday and Sunday, my family helped me move. Today, I'll clean out my apartment and turn in my keys. *tear* Moving was awful. I hate it. When I move next time, I won't be able to help that much. My family (sorry again!) will probably have to do most of the work as I will still be recovering.

You've got to be kidding me!
Last night, I was in my bedroom at my new residence unpacking some things when I came across my mail from this week. In it was a letter from my insurance provider, Aetna, dated Dec. 18, 2008 (less than one month before I have to go in for surgery).

The letter said that they were denying coverage for all parts of my surgery.

Let's let this sink in a little.

Denied. All parts. I'd have to pay for everything. Impossible to do.

Here's the rundown of all the surgery procedures they denied (a lot of these were given to me as abbreviations, some of which I knew and others I did not):

• Arthrodesis Post, for spinal deform, with or without cast; 7 to 12 vertebral segments 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• Posterior Segmental Instrumentation; 7 to 12 vertebral segments 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• Allograft for spine surgery only; Morselized 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• Autograft for spine surgery only (including harvesting the graft); Morselized (sep incision) 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• Bone Marrow Aspirat only 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• LA, FA & FO (UN/BI W/DE SP C, CA EQ A/O N RT(S) (EG SP/LA R ST) SI VE SE TH(SSO) 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• LA, FA & FO (UN/BI W/DE SP C, CA EQ A/O N RT(S) (EG SP/LA R ST) SI VE SE LU (SSO) 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• Osteotomy of spine, posterior or posterlateral approach, one vertebral segment; Thoracic 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• Osteotomy of spine, posterior or posterolateral approach, one vertebral segment; Lumbar 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• Arthrodesis, posterior or posterolateral tech, sing level; Thoracic 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• Arthrodesis, posterior or posterolateral tech, sing level; Lumbar 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• Arthrodesis, posterior or posterolateral tech, sing level; each additional vertebral segment 1 time--COVERAGE DENIED
• One day surgical--COVERAGE DENIED

Shit. I freaked out. I told my parents. Dad seemed calm and said we would call the doctor and Aetna first thing in the morning since it was currently after 5 p.m. on a Sunday. Mom freaked out more than me.

Apparently, in all the denials, it said that there wasn't enough medical evidence to show that this was medically necessary. It said my doctor failed to provide a required CT scan or MRI. Well, I haven't had either of those yet. Those are done close to the surgery date, so they give the most current view possible.

In the letter, it also discussed how to appeal. It said they have 30 days to make a ruling on my first appeal. I don't have 30 days!! My surgery is in 16 days!!

Sigh of relief
First thing this morning, I called my doctor's office and left a message for my patient coordinator. Amber explained to me the situation.

They received the same letter from Aetna last week. She immediately got on the phone with them and argued about why this is medically necessary. Eventually, they setup a "peer to peer" consultation between my surgeon and an Aetna doctor. Dr. Hostin explained all the reasons why I need this and gave them proof.

Aetna conceded. Hallelujah! They said they'll cover me for the surgery and everything that goes along with it.

One thing though, since my insurance plan is changing on Jan. 1 (it's still with Aetna, but just a better plan), we would have to re-apply for approvals on Dec. 31. Amber said not to worry. She said they assured her that it would be approved again. I should have a definite 110 percent answer by next Monday.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

One more thing
I also received a letter from Dr. Nguyen's office. He's the on-staff physician at the hospital who gives me clearance for surgery at the hospital. He also will check on me each day while I'm at the hospital.

The letter asked for all my medical records from the last two years from an array of different types of doctors. This letter was dated Dec. 18, 2008, so I basically just received it, too.

Thankfully, of the types of doctors they asked for, I had only been to one clinic in the time period requested. I gave my wonderful father authorization to pick up my records, and he is doing so today for me. This was a relatively easy thing to do, but it would have been awful and near impossible had I seen more of these doctors. You would think you'd get a little more time on these things!

In summary, there were many headaches this weekend and even some tears. For the most part, everything has been resolved and is on-track. This surgery stuff is a very complicated business! Thank goodness for my wonderful family, friends and patient coordinator for getting me through this. xoxo to you all!

Celebrity skin

Fun with Google
I'm stealing this idea from my friend's blog about dealing with (and beating! I'm still smiling about that) Hodgkins Lymphoma.

I did a google search for celebrities who have scoliosis. I know I shouldn't be happy for someone to have to live with a disease just because I have it, but it still kind of made me excited to know I share this with some really amazing people. Here are the results. I'm only including those who I've heard of, which basically means I've left off all the sports people (no offense). I'm adding Wikipedia hyperlinks to their names, in case you want to click to learn more about them:

• Chloe Sevigny - Actress (she's probably the coolest person on this list.)
• Daryl Hannah - Actress
• Elizabeth Taylor - Actress
• Isabella Rossellini - Actress/Model (in addition to some major movies that you probably know her from, she made a great mini-movie on YouTube about bees that I saw on my friend Lisa's blog. It makes me love her more.)
• John Lydon - Lead singer of Sex Pistols
• Kurt Cobain - Lead singer of Nirvana (my jaw dropped on this one)
• Laura Dern - Actress
• Linda Blair - Actress
• Liza Minnelli - Actress (and dancer, thank you very much)
• Renee Russo - Actress/Model
• Princess Eugenie of York - Granddaughter to the Queen (UK)
• Sarah Michelle Gellar - Actress/Model
• Tutankahman - Egyptian Pharaoh
• Yo-Yo Ma - Cellist
• Vanessa Williams - Actress (Ugly Betty's Wilhelmina)
• Sarah Polley - Actress
• Rebecca Romijn - Actress/Model
• Alexandra Marinescu - World Champion Gymnast (ok, so I've included one sports figure. I want to show that scoliosis, unless too severe, cannot keep you from accomplishing great things physically.)

I would say that having scoliosis doesn't inhibit you from doing what you want to do in life, but I do think that that depends on the severity and your access to medical treatment. I still think this list is really impressive and proves that many of us have problems, even seemingly perfect celebrities, and still go on to do great things with our lives.

Have a very happy holiday!

Interesting development--this is good

Brace yourselves
In the trail of paperwork that is now flowing from Dr. Hostin's office to me, I noticed that one of the documents was called "surgery info without bracing."

Without bracing? I e-mailed the patient coordinator I'm working with at this point (there are two of them that work with me at different stages of the process) to ask if this means I will not have to wear a brace.

I've never heard of anyone going through this surgery and not having to wear a brace. I'm going to ask on SSO (my support forum) if they've heard of it. Typically, a person wears the brace almost immediately after surgery and for the next four months while doing everything except lying completely flat.

My patient coordinator said this:

At this time Dr. Hostin feels like you will not need a brace after surgery. The younger a patient is and/or the smaller the fusion, the likelihood of needing a brace goes down. You are still young enough that you heal more quickly than someone in their 50’s plus your fusion is more in your upper back and doesn’t have a lot of weight bearing pressure. Once you get sitting up in a chair and then walking after surgery, if you feel you might like the added support of a brace, we can order one for you then.

My thoughts on this
I'm happy about this because it makes me think that this may not be as hard on me as it is for a lot of other people. (Don't jump to conclusions here--I know this will still be one of the hardest things I will do in my life.)

At the same time, I'm a little scared about not having the support, but it sounds like if I get too worried then I can get one at anytime. Not a bad deal.

So, no yucky white body armour for me! This will be potentially a little less socially awkward for me. Woo-hoo!

Holy crap! This thing is going to cost money!

First bills

Today, I spoke with the hospital about the MRI I'll be having on Dec. 29. The MRI is one part of preparing for surgery. I didn't realize it was going to cost me money!

Not just a couple hundred bucks either. The full cost of the MRI is $6,897.36. I've already met my insurance deductible, but not my out-of-pocket maximum. Therefore, my insurance will pay 80 percent, and I'll pay 20 percent. For some reason, I was under the impression that I reached my maximum already and all of this would be free until the first of the year. I'm so sad to say that I was mistaken.

So my second bill for this will be for $1,379.47.

My only other bill was after my first appointment in September at Baylor Scoliosis. It cost me $356.54.

So my new running total for this surgery is.....drum roll.......$1,736.01. Good-bye savings account!

UPDATED: I had them switch my MRI to the first of the new year, so it will count toward my deductible/out-of-pocket maximum for next year. I feel better about this now.

Pop quiz, friends

Preparations
I've been thinking a lot lately about what it's going to be like to spend two or three months in bed. I'm sure most of my time will be spent sleeping and taking pain pills. In the time that I am able to do more and before I am ok'd to start telecommuting to work, I think I'll probably be reading and watching a lot of movies.

I am an avid reader. I read at least one book a month as it is now and see a movie maybe once every week or two, and I currently work at least five days a week. I can't imagine how many more I'll be reading or watching if I'm just in bed all day for days on end. But I don't want to just watch a bunch of crap or whatever is coming on TV, and I don't want to re-read (again) all my books.

If you were on a desert island...
So here's the dealio--I want to know the books and movies that you would recommend for me to read/watch.

Give them to me in the comments. Here's the rules:

1. First come, first served --you cannot give the same answer as anyone else in the comments. Each answer has to be new, so I get a little variety.
2. You can't choose one the books or movies that are already on my favorite list. Favorite books: To Kill a Mockingbird, Harry Potter (all of 'em), A Tale of Two Cities, Shopgirl, The Red Tent, The DaVinci Code, Leaves of Grass. Favorite movies: Juno, Anchorman, Rushmore, Amelie, Breakfast at Tiffany's.
3. You can only pick ONE book and ONE movie. UPDATED: LIST AS MANY AS YOU WANT (Becky intrigued me on this one!)
   

Thank you for playing. I look forward to your answers!

General schedule for day of and days after surgery

This is when I get scared
As I posted yesterday, here is some more information from my patient coordinator about what to expect.

• day of surgery: I'll be admitted to the hospital two hours prior to my surgery. Once I'm in the surgery room & the real action is about to begin, an OR (operating room...but surely you all knew that at least from Grey's Anatomy, right?) staffer will let my family know it is beginning. (btw, my heart is starting to race as I type this.) The nurse will "call out" (their words, not mine; I guess it means they'll shout my name and if someone is there for me, they'll give them my info) each hour with an update. Dr. Hostin will visit with my family after it is all complete. Then my family will be able to see me. I'll be admitted into the ICU (Intesive Care Unit) for the first night.
• 4-5 days after surgery: I'll be moved to a regular room the next day after surgery, provided that I am doing well. I will stay in the hospital for 4-5 days or longer if it's medically needed.
• after hospital release: I will be transferred to the Baylor Institute for Rehabilitation in Dallas. I'll stay there for 7-10 days. While here, I'll learn how to adjust to my new body position, my brace and life after surgery. I'll learn daily activities like how to get in and out of bed, sit down and up from a chair or potty, out and in of the shower, take off and put on my brace, etc. Visitors will want to check my schedule before coming to my room, as I will be in and out each day.
• Five post-op visits: I will go to Dr. Hostin's office frequently to check how I'm progressing and healing. They'll check my wounds, how my brace is fitting, take x-rays and overall see how I'm moving, sitting, walking and functioning. My first visit will be the day I am discharged from rehab. Then, I'll visit them 2-3 weeks from that, one month after the second appointment, 4-6 weeks after the third appointment and then 6-8 weeks after the fourth one.
• ??? to four months after surgery: I'm not sure when they put the brace on for the first time. Maybe right away. I don't know. I do know that I will be in a brace at all times unless lying completely flat for 4 months. They recommend wearing light, plain t-shirts under the brace to protect my skin and keep the brace clean. After four months, they'll help me wean off wearing it. I hear from my SSO friends that it can be a little scary to stop wearing it because you feel so fragile.
• 8-12 weeks after surgery: I will return to work at least part-time.

While searching for a scoliosis support group (I found SSO), I stumbled across a different forum that had quite a few complainers in it. I'm sure that most of their complaints were very justified. Some people practically shouted "don't do it!" because they knew so & so who died or had their surgery messed up and had to have multiple surgeries or the rods and screws broke through the skin and lots of other wonderful stories. (everyone briefly chant here with me...this will not happen to me, this will not happen to me, this will not happen to me.)

The comment that stuck out the most to me was a woman who described the first few weeks after surgery as, "somewhere between hell and Nazi Germany."

Great.

Sounds fun, right?

Timetable and useful information

FMLA update
For those of you who have been following this (hello my lovely 13!), my FMLA and salary continuation paperwork has been accepted by HR. My contact said everything "looks good" and is "on-track."

Next step -- pre-op
I e-mailed my wonderful patient coordinator today to ask about when my next appointment would be. This is what I have found out:

• 6 weeks prior to surgery: sign and return "Surgical Contraindication" form (done); this form explains that I cannot have ANY tobacco products for the six weeks prior to and six months after my surgery. Additionally, I will not be able to have Aleve, Motrin, Ib-profen and any other anti-inflammatory or blood thinning product during this time. At my blood test, if any of these products or substances are found in my blood, my surgery will be cancelled. (du, du, DUM!)
• 2 weeks prior to surgery: blood work will be done to check for nicotine, pregnancy and other vile conditions.
• 1-3 weeks prior (time is unestablished): this is one of those points that my mom, Grandma and possibly more of you will want to look away. Hey, I'm trying to be honest as possible, so if any of you ever have to do this, you'll know EXACTLY what to expect. I'm to stop taking birth control at least a week prior to surgery or don't start a new pack if my cycle ends 2-3 weeks prior. I'll keep the exact time to myself.
• 1 week prior to surgery: pre-testing and pre-registration at the hospital; I'll have a platelet test to show how my blood clots and a chest x-ray (EKG). This will be scheduled with an internal medical physician on-staff at the hospital (Baylor Plano) named Dr. Nguyen. Dr. Nguyen will also see me each day I'm in the hospital.
• Week of surgery (not a specific day): Pre-op visit with my surgeon, Dr. Hostin; A family member (mom?) will go with me. Dr. Hostin will go over the procedure, risks and answer any questions I have. I'll also need to sign consent forms and do any additional testing they see fit, which could include a myelogram/CT (looks at my spinal cord using dye), discogram/CT (enhanced x-ray using dye), pulmonary test (checks my lung function), stress test/cardiac (checks my heart), MRI (imaging technique) and/or bone density testing. Additionally, I will be fitted for my brace, which I will wear AT ALL TIMES, unless lying completely flat, for FOUR MONTHS.
• 5 days prior to surgery: I'll start washing my neck, chest, abdomen, sides and back with Hibiclens Antibacterial Soap, which they say is stronger than the average soap. I need to do this daily up to the day of surgery (I'm expecting a joke from Carra here).
• 2 days prior to surgery: I'll swab each nostril twice a day with a prescription cream to help reduce bacteria and infection.
• 1 day prior: one last blood test at the hospital to type my blood and send this information to the blood bank.
• Additional appointments: I have the option to take a tour of the hospital to see all the areas where I will be. I think I'd like to do this. Also, I'll need to meet with a staff member from the rehab facility to go over information about my time there.

To make this really suspenseful, I'm going to wait until tomorrow to post the schedules for the day of my surgery and timetable for after my surgery. I know, I know...you'll be waiting with bated breath until then! Be strong, my friends. We all love a good cliffhanger, right?

For now, you can comment on the above information and give me any remedies you know of for headaches that do not require any of the aforementioned pills or any anti-inflammatory or blood-thinning agents.

Relief

The sky was falling
I am prone to overreacting, at least about all of this. I had my meeting with my boss today, and it went swimmingly. He said he supports me 100 percent and that the #1 priority is my health and recovery.

If I am just lying around in bed, feeling wonderful, watching "General Hospital" and trying to figure out why my doctor hasn't released me yet to part-time work, I can feel free to telecommute, he said. That way, I can get off the FMLA days away (of which you only get 12 weeks per year, and you don't want to deplete unless something unforeseen happens). Honestly, that is something I would love to do. This isn't a vacation to me. As soon as I am ready, I want to work. I love being a part of my team at the office and don't like the idea of not holding my own. As I said to the boss man, I do not want to be useless if there is anyway I can physically handle being useful.

So I'll take as much time off as I need (8-12 weeks? maybe), but I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will be telecommuting part time in whatever role I feel able to fill by 6 weeks out.

Crisis averted.

UPDATE to "Breaking news (more to come) -- I may be developing an ulcer"

My patient coordinator e-mailed me back (I told you she was quick!). She said that 8-12 weeks is the standard time out. She said every patient is different and that we won't know when I'll be ready to come back until I actually am ready. She also said that it is better to give work the longer estimate and come back early than give the shorter one and not be able to make it.

She's probably right.

The plan
Here's what I'm thinking. I setup a meeting to talk to my boss on Wednesday and fill out all the paperwork we need to for FMLA (he and I both have to fill out forms for it and add those to the form the doctor's office filled out and then send them all to HR). I plan on explaining to him then that the time they put on the FMLA form is the standard but that it is likely (because I'm young and healthy and only my top curve is being corrected) that I will come back early, although not certain. If for some reason I'm not ready to come back after six weeks, I'll determine then if I think I'm able to telecommute at that time. For those of you who do not know me well, I have a job that I can do mostly from home, if necessary, as long as I have my laptop, wireless card and BlackBerry. My boss lets us telecommute occasionally when we can't make it into the office for whatever reason.

Hopefully I'll be able to do at least some work after six weeks from home. I'm just worried about when I'm coming back.

Let's count
Typically, March through May are really busy months for my business. If I come back 6 weeks after my Jan. 14 surgery date, I'll be back the first week of March (good). If it's 8 weeks, I'll be back mid-March (not-so-good). If it's 10 weeks, I'll be back the end of March (bad). If it's 12 weeks, I'll be back mid-April (ugh).

So Wednesday, we'll discuss all of this and see what he says. Don't uncross those fingers yet...

Breaking news (more to come) -- I may be developing an ulcer

Uh-oh
I'm trying to get my paperwork together to submit to work to take a leave of absence (under the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993, fyi). My doctor's office faxed me their portion of the FMLA paperwork just now. On it it says that I'll be unable to work for:

8-12 weeks from Jan. 14, 2009 surgery. Then part-time return to work, then full-time intermittently TBD.

Wow. Thats not what I thought. When I spoke with the doctor, he said I could probably (which I know "probably" doesn't start out factual statements) go back to work after about six weeks. This is what I told my boss and the people I work with--six weeks.

Now imagine me having to tell them that I may be gone two weeks longer than that or even twice as long! Three months?! That puts me back half-way through our busiest time of the year. This is not a conversation I want to have with my boss (disclaimer in case anyone at work is reading this: I know I have the best boss in the whole world and any concerns he has about this are definitely well-founded and understandable, but I still don't want to have to tell him this!).

I just e-mailed my patient coordinator to ask her which is more likely-- the 6 weeks estimate or the 8-12 weeks one. Maybe I got a better estimate because I'm young and healthy, and maybe the longer estimate is the standard answer they give on the FMLA forms for most people. She's usually pretty quick at e-mailing me back, so I'll post again as soon as I have more information. Keep your fingers crossed with me.

Research

I'm "special"
One cool thing I found while researching the cause of scoliosis was information about its prevalence. From Wikipedia (Thank goodness for Wikipedia!):

• Scoliotic curves greater than 10 degrees affect only 2-3 percent of the US population (my curve is in the 60 degree range).
• The prevalence of curves greater than 20 degrees affect about one in 2,500 people (once again, my curve is in the 60 degree range!).
• Single or "C" curves are slightly more common than double or "S" curves (mine is an "S"). Males are more likely to have infantile or juvenile scoliosis, but females have a high incidence of adolescent scoliosis.

Since my curves are so much larger than these stats, I would like to find some more stats, but this is all I could find for now. I'll post if anything comes up.

I'm in a glass case of emotion

Seriously? Again?
I understand things change and sometimes you can't help it. It shouldn't be a big deal or anything to be mad about. Roll with the punches.

What. Ev. Er.

We all know my surgery date changed from Jan. 19 to the 23, and it shook me up. Then, on Thursday afternoon, I received another call from the doctor's office. Not only did they not realize they were closed on Jan. 19 for the MLK holiday (the reason my first surgery date changed), but actually most of the staff is out of town that entire week for some reason. We would need to change the date again. I wonder if my patient coordinator, who BTW was very nice about it, could hear how upset I was on the phone. We changed the date to the next Monday, Jan. 26.

The rest of my day was ruined. I was sad all day about it until Matt distracted me with Mediterranean food and hot chocolate. (Thank you!) I would deal with this new date again.

Conflict
Then on Friday, I realized that this new date was no good for work. It would put me back at work a whole week later, not good for the busiest time of our year. There's no way I could do it then. It has to be earlier. I felt nauseous.

My only other option was the week before my original surgery date. I hadn't wanted to do it this week as my best friend is having a birthday party on the 16th, and I want to be there. You know, one last time to see all my friends and run around before I'm "taking it easy" for the next few months. Due to illnesses and work conflicts, we haven't celebrated her birthday in a few years.

I had to choose though, and I figure she'll understand better than work. So, I called my patient coordinator and prepared myself to beg for another date. It was easier than I thought.

My new surgery date is Wednesday, Jan. 14. Please, please, PLEASE don't let this one change. I can't handle the stress! At the movies with some girlfriends on Friday, I even got choked up when they asked me when my surgery is. I must have looked crazy. I bet that's the last time any of them ask me when it is! Ha!

One of my many genetic gifts

Cause and effect
Today, a friend of mine at work asked me what causes scoliosis. I said that no one really knows, but that it is likely hereditary. As soon as she walked away, I rushed to Wikipedia to look it up. I was right. And wrong. But we'll go with right.

Scoliosis can be congenital (a disorder present at birth that developed in the fetus) or a secondary symptom of another condition like cerebral palsy, or it can be idiopathic, which is sub-classified as infantile, juvenile, adolescent or adult, depending upon when it starts. Mine is adolescent idiopathic.

Idiopathic-- adj.; medical term meaning unknown cause; arising spontaneously; from an obscure or unknown cause

Medical breakthrough
So it's unknown. Kind of. Researchers for years have assumed that scoliosis runs in families but haven't been able to prove a connection. In 2007, researchers, including some from Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children where I used to go for my scoliosis, identified a defect in the gene CHD7 to idiopathic scoliosis. From reading Wikipedia and this article, I'll try to explain how the defect works. (Doctors, if any of you are reading this, feel free to refute this as I have no clue about science.)

Researchers analyzed a whole bunch of DNA from families with scoliosis. They found that in people with scoliosis, the CHD7 genes weren't absent but just turned off here and there. This is probably wrong, but its how I think of it--imagine a strand of 6 billion Christmas lights and every once and a while, a bulb is off. If too many are off, there could be a lot of really bad problems associated with a syndrome called CHARGE, or if there's not as many, scoliosis can gradually develop.

As we know, genes come from our parents, so apparently, idiopathic scoliosis is hereditary. It's called a Mendelian inheritance. So while some of you get dimples or hitchhiker's thumb, I got scoliosis. Thanks, Mom! Just teasing. Mom also had to deal with life with scoliosis, so there's no blame from me. Someday I may pass this onto my children and we can all laugh about it over a cup of tea. Ha, ha, genetics.

UPDATED: The big reveal

I feel so naked!
I promised x-rays, and I'm finally delivering. Funny story--when the doctor showed them to me in his office, my first thought wasn't about the curves in my spine but about my goods on display. I don't remember them being there before in my x-rays growing up! It was a little bit embarrassing to see, which may make some wonder why I would then decide to put them up on the internet for EVERYONE to see. I want to be honest here about my experience. So boobs, schmoobs. Let's get on with the show.







1. "PA Scoli" This x-ray shows my whole spine. It was taken with me standing up against a wall.
2. "LAT Scoli" This shows my right side, the side where you can see my curve (my hump-back) best. It was taken with me standing up with my left side against a wall. UPDATE: After some confusion, let me clarify--my right arm is draped down and across my chest in this x-ray, so that is my arm you can see so prominently from the side.
3 & 4. "T Bend R" and "T Bend L" These show movement in my upper curve when I bend my upper body to the left and right.
5 & 6. "L Bend LT" and "L Bend R" These were taken with me lying face down and bent every which way by the x-ray tech to get a good shot of what happens to the bottom curve when I move. If you notice, my bottom curve seems to move around to compensate for the top curve. In #6, it almost seems to go away, which is why the doctor thinks that the bottom curve isn't a real curve but a compensation my body made for the top, real curve. That's why he is only going to fix the top curve, and let the bottom curve work itself out on its own.

So the doctor will fuse a rod to the vertebrae in the top part of my back. The next time I post x-rays, you'll see the rod and screws in my back. I keep looking at that first x-ray and imaging what I will look like in my x-ray and in person when those curves get pulled straight. It will make me look so much better, I just know it.

Ch-ch-changes

Two new posts in two days--you lucky readers, you! Onward:

A bad sign?
Today, I woke up in a glorious mood. I woke up on my own three minutes before my alarm was set to go off and said to myself, "Today is a great day, I won't bother with the snooze button!" and started getting ready for work.

As I was rushing to get out the door, my cell rang. It was the Baylor Scoliosis Center. There was a complication with my surgery date, and I would need to change it.

Instant bad mood. I asked if I could call them back later. On the drive to work, I kept thinking about all the reasons why I should not do this surgery. I was upset, apprehensive, stressed.

The date change is one of those things that just happen, and I know that, but I was still upset. You get your head wrapped around something as big and important as this, and then it changes. Now I have to re-group and get my head around a new date.

Knowing Dr. Hostin does surgeries on MWF, I asked for the next surgery day, Wednesday, Jan. 21, because at least that's only two days later and not on a dreaded Friday. No dice.

Not wanting to have re-schedule before my intended date (this may seem unimportant, but I want to celebrate my besty's bday with her on the 16th since fate always keeps us from celebrating; I figure it will be my last big celebration before the surgery) and not wanting to re-schedule too far away from my original date of the 19th, that leaves Jan. 23--a Friday.

I asked to schedule then, they said yes and now it's set. Jan. 23. A Friday.

Reassurance
I e-mailed my patient care coordinator with my fears about Friday being right before a weekend and if something were to happen, the doctor wouldn't be there to take care of me.

She replied that their practice has someone on-call 24/7 for patient needs and a physician's assistant or Dr. Hostin will come check on me everyday that I'm in the hospital. When I'm transferred to the ICU after surgery, I'll have my own nurse all to myself all day long for that first day.

She said the nurses on-staff at the hospital are all specially trained to deal with patients who have this surgery, and if needed, Dr. Hostin is only a phone call away at any time--as is she. She said that I do not need to worry and to let her know if I have any other concerns she can help me with.

Enough already
I feel better now about my Friday concerns, although I'm still shaken up by the date change. At work, we had just figured out who's covering on what days a major part of my job while I'm gone. Now I'm going to have to figure out four more days that will change everyone slightly.

In yoga class, my teacher sometimes when we're holding a position will repeat to us again and again "Let" on the breaths in and "Go" on the breaths out. We release everything our bodies are holding onto and just let go and get in touch with ourselves in the position we are currently in.

So that's my focus today. Letting go.

Still me, only better

I've decided that I want to be as healthy as I can before my surgery to help with the healing process. I hear that strong, healthy people heal faster and with less difficulties.

I want to pump me up
Exercising prior to surgery speeds post-op recovery, so says World Health.

With my new plan to be as healthy as possible, my goal is to work out five times a week. I never skip working out to just sit around and watch TV. If I miss, it's because I have something important to do that can't be moved around work out times.

I feel the most important exercise I do is yoga. I feel so strong and in-touch with myself after yoga class. It even gets my heart pumping and breathing heavy because we move so quickly through the poses and breath in and out through our noses only to keep heat inside the body. It can also really be customized to fit what you want to get out of it.

Get in my belly
Food. I love it. But unfortunately, I kind of eat junk. Or at least I used to and am getting better all the time. I cannot eat junk food more than once a week and even that gives me major guilt trips. I'm not buying crap anymore from the grocery store and am getting as much organic as I can. I make sure to have a vegetable with every meal and drink one small glass of juice (but not the super sugary bad kind) once a day. I'm staying away from my former theory of dessert with every meal, bu I am by no mean depriving myself. When I go out to eat, I eat whatever I damn well please. I'm just a little smarter about it.

I'm also imbibing vitamins. I'm taking a women's multivitamin and also BioSil (which I mix with that one glass of juice) for strong bones and joints (it helps my hair and nails grow, too!). All good things, easy to do.

Saying "good-bye" to an era
Probably the best thing I can do for my life is give up smoking. Yes, I was still smoking for you family members who maybe shocked at this. I wasn't a regular smoker, but I was a chain smoker once I started drinking. I seem to drink once a week or sometimes every other week, so I was smoking more than I should.

We all know why smoking bad. But it is especially bad if you're about to have surgery. It deprives your body of oxygen and causes inadequate blood supply to your heart, which is already stressed out because of the surgery. One Web site states:

This is not just theory. There have been multiple studies confirming that smoking increases the incidence of pulmonary complications after an anesthetic as much as six times. Smoking has been shown to be an independent risk factor for complications ranging from complications of lung function to wound healing to cardiovascular events such as heart attack.

So I decided to stop after my birthday party. Since then, I've had one cig. It tasted gross. That was four weeks ago. Of course, I still want to smoke, but I don't. My lollipop intake has signifantly gone up, though. (I have a sucker everytime I decide I need a cigarette. I'll probably end up with my first cavity, but hey-- you need lungs more than teeth in surgery, right?)

In summary, I haven't gone gung-ho about any of it, but I think I've taken a step in the right direction. Hopefully, because of these changes, my surgery will be easy as pie and the recovery will be that much better. That's a good thing.

Riddle me this: the question list

Read them, write them
I'm making a list of questions that I want to ask the doctor at my next visit, which won't be for at least a month. Probably in the beginning of December, the patient coordinator said.

Here's the deal readers--my list needs your help. Ever noticed how much more it helps to bounce an idea off someone else, than just to go with your own first thoughts? If you could, let me know if a question comes to your head whenever you think about the surgery or recovery or if you just see a question that's obvious to you but is not on this list. I can't tell you how much this will help me.

Here's the start of my list:

1. How long will the surgery last?

2. How long will I be in the hospital afterward?

3. When people go back to work after their month or two off, are they typically able to do full days or not?

4. Will I be in a brace? If so, for how long?

5. Will I need a cane or a walker? How long?

6. If I am in a brace, how long each day do I need to wear it?

7. How will I sleep? Will I be able to lay on my back at all?

8. My mother's surgeon used bone from her ribs (Mom, is this right?) in her back. Will I need anything like that?

9. Will I be able to play soccer or snowboard or other sports and games where I may fall or get hit?

10. How long will it take for the hump in my back that I currently have to go away? It will go away, right?

11. How long will it take for the bottom curve to straighten out on its own?

12. How tall will I be when this is all over?

13. Do I need to give blood prior to surgery? Or can I not, since I'm anemic? I honestly don't know if that's a silly question or not.

14. Will I get a chance to talk with the anesthesiologist before the surgery?

15. How long typically before people can exercise again?

16. How long will I be in constant pain?

17. What exactly happens in the surgery?

18. Will I be in the ICU afterward, like my mother was?

19. If the second curve doesn't fix itself on its own like you said it will, will I have to have surgery again to fix that one, too?

20. How much will it approximately cost? (not assuming insurance)

....now your turn. Let me know if any other questions pop into your head or if you think I should ask for more explanation on anything.

A second part to this post will eventually happen that will have answers to all (I hope) of these questions. For now, ask away.

Crashing

Unrelated
Today, I was in a car accident. A woman ran a stop sign, and I (who did not have a stop sign) ran into her. My poor VW bug is dead, gone forever.

I know this is unrelated to the reason I'm doing this blog, my scoliosis. However, the resulting headache, fever, burning eyes (from powder that flew out from the airbags) and body pains will keep me from fulfilling my one blog a week promise I made, at least this week.

I'll leave you with one promise--x-ray pics to be coming very, very soon. My doctor's office has promised to mail to me today a cd of the x-rays. As soon as I get them, I will post them.

For now, I'm going to lay down, dream of the better days when a girl could safely cruise in her VW beetle and will promise to blog again very, very soon, probably in the next couple of days.

Thanks for understanding, all of you! For now, I'll leave you with a treat, a video from another bug lover in a song that I will dedicate to my long lost "Red Animal War" buggy. I'll miss you like candy. (Tear)

A dose of reality

Pick a day, any day
This process seems to be one step and then a next step. First it was make an appointment, then go to it. Then it was let the family and friends know, then talk to the boss, next schedule the surgery.

Everything was ok 'til that last one.

I e-mailed the lady at the doctor's office who handles scheduling to ask how I pick a day. I told her I preferred sometime in January. She wrote back that I couldn't between this date and that date, as they were already booked. I would need to do either before then or after. Also, Dr. Hostin performs surgeries on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, so I need to pick one of those days.

My thoughts were that Friday wouldn't be any good because I don't know if Dr. Hostin works on weekends, and should something happen, I want him to be easily accessible.

Then, everything changed for me.

I looked at my Outlook calendar and panicked. All of a sudden, the surgery became real to me. I felt like crying. I was in an instant bad mood. I stopped and came back to it later, although the nerves never went away.

I decided Monday, Jan. 19 looked ok. My best friend's birthday is the Saturday before that, so I'd still be able to go out for one last celebration as the way things are. I e-mailed the doctor's office to request this day. Unfortunately, my procrastination didn't pay off--the scheduler was out of town for one week. I would have to wait to see if Jan. 19 was my day or not.

This was the worst. I was already freaking out and now I had to wait a week to find out.

Nightmares
I laid in bed that night thinking about the surgery. I imagined the doctor picking up my spine from my wide open back and just moving it over to the left where it should be--in the center of my back, like a good spine. It would be red and bloody, chunky. God, that must hurt.

I imagined the moment when I would be led away from my family. This one always gets me. I may cry now. I imagine having to say goodbye and laying in a bed and being wheeled away by essential strangers.

Then the anesthesia. Jeez. This one really scares me. A part of me worries about it not working and me being able to feel everything but the doctors don't realize it. I saw this woman on Oprah once who had stomach surgery and swore this happened to her. She said it was the worst moment in her life and that it felt like a blow torch ripping through her body when they cut into her. The whole time she was yelling in her head for them to stop, but she couldn't move a muscle. They had no idea.

My biggest fear about the anesthesia is just falling asleep and never waking up. What if I never see my family again?

Then I worry about all the pain I'll be in and if it will be like any pain I've ever felt before. How will I lay down after the surgery? Will I be on my back or on my stomach? Will it hurt everytime I move and breathe?

These thoughts were with me until I finally fell asleep that night and every time I've thought about my surgery and the dreaded date since then.

Confirmation
I received an e-mail today from the new lady in-charge of scheduling at the doctor's office. She confirmed that Jan. 19 would be my surgery date. I was driving home when I received the e-mail. I started crying when I read the date in the first line on my BlackBerry.

This is really happening. Should I be doing this? I can manage the pain I'm in now. Is this necessary?

The e-mail said I'm booked for Jan. 19 at 7:30 a.m. and that my testing and pre-op appointments won't happen until it's closer to then, probably at the beginning of December. Until then, I just wait.

I'm waiting.

Step two

A sad sign

I went to my doctor's appointment at Baylor Scoliosis Center almost one month ago. I decided I needed support, so my mom took off work to come with me. My mom rocks, too, by the way.

On our way from the parking lot to the doctor's office, I saw one reason to keep going with this...a little old woman was walking toward the medical center. My mom and I were upright, and she was at almost a 90-degree angle, bent over so far that her face naturally looked to her feet. This is a form of scoliosis. I have no idea how this woman slept at night. It was so sad. I just felt awful for her. How did she and her family let her get to this point? How much pain must she be in in every waking moment? It was so sad. My heart goes out to her.

That is why I am doing this. I will not be that little old lady, if I can help it.

The appointment

The office was nice. Decorated comfortably and plush. Good magazines and even books. Mom and I perused a Frank Lloyd Wright book while we waited. We weren't there for too long before I was signing paper work to participate in a study. It's anonymous, so I was cool with it. Let's be honest, I'm not too shy so I would have been fine with it probably either way.

The appointment was typical with x-rays and walking on tip-toes and bending and such. The staff was so nice. So nice. The x-ray tech had me laughing the whole time and the surgeon, Dr. Hostin, I met with was so helpful. I immediately felt confident in him. I think that's a good sign. Sometimes you just know if something is wrong or right. This definitely wasn't wrong.

He looked at my x-rays and spoke with the first doctor who gave me my walking and other tests. We talked about my past experiences with doctors for my scoliosis. He told me about his experiences and his practice's values.

We talked about how my curve growing up was always in the gray area where we opted not to have surgery. He said that when looking at scoliosis in kids, it's kind of like looking in a crystal ball. You're trying to figure out how this child will grow into an adult with scoliosis--will his or her curve get worse or stay the same? With me, my doctors were optimistic, and we opted against surgery.

Dr. Hostin said that now I am out of the gray area. I should have surgery.

I was convinced of this, too, when he told me how tall I am now. I am 5 feet, 5 inches tall. I was almost 5'7" when I graduated high school. Holy crap!

This shocked me more than anything else I heard. I'm shrinking! My spine is curving so much, I'm getting all scrunched up. This is why my bra has gone to a 38", I'm guessing. My back is going from long to wide. This sold me. I can only see this getting worse if untreated.

The doctor said I don't really have to have the surgery right away, as my pain is manageable and I don't look too horrible right now. The sooner, the better, though, because the older I get, the worse my symptoms will get and the harder the surgery and recovery will be on me.

Surgery (more specifics on this to come later) consists of opening up my back and fusing a metal rod to my spine. I wonder if I'll set the metal detectors off now at the airport.....off the subject.

Anyway, as I said in my e-mail post below, I have two curves in the 60 degree range. The top curve is the real curve, and the bottom curve (this is kind of cool) was just made by my body to compensate for the curving top half of my spine. As with all things, it's all about balance. Dr. Hostin said the bottom curve should go away on its own once we fix the top part. The good news is the rod will only need to be in the top part of my back, so I'll still be able to bend and move the bottom part of my back, which is really where most back movement occurs.

Dr. Hostin showed my mom and I my x-rays (I'll ask if I can get a copy of these to put on here and will save my analysis of what shocked me about x-rays til then) and the x-rays of similar (anonymous) patients. He answered the few questions we could think of then. My list since has kept growing.

My mom was all parental and asked the young whipper-snapper about his experience. Once satisfied, we asked if he ever had a patient who died on the table or ended up paralyzed. No and no, so that's good. One scary note, I read a statistic that 1 in 100 who have the surgery could end up paralyzed. No guarantees, but Dr. Hostin said this won't be the case for me.

We asked the dangers, which are:

1. death (everyone has to go sometime....ha)

2. ending up paralyzed (1 in 100 chance)

3. infection (the body and metal don't always mix; if this happens, you have to have surgery again so they can clean the metal and put it back....this makes me sick to think of going through twice.)

4. (this one made me laugh) eye problems from laying on your stomach for so long

How much time will I need off from work? He said most need a month to six weeks of bed rest with six months of "taking it easy". I plan on asking more questions about this later.

Then we left. The next step is to set up the surgery.

Since then

I left completely cool with the situation. I was sure I would cry if the doc said surgery. That was one reason to bring the mother. But I didn't. I even felt a little relieved afterward. Maybe it was just fear of the unknown that had freaked me out before. Now I knew and I accepted it.

Or at least that's what I thought. Then last week everything changed. This post is getting too long, so we'll delve into feelings next time. Class dismissed.

More of how this came to be

The first step
With all this in mind, one day at work I decided to do a little investigating. I got onto my insurance Web site and did a search on doctor's specializing in the spine and spinal surgeries--orthopedic surgeons, if you will :) .

Turns out, there was only one option for me. The only practice in my insurance network was the Baylor Scoliosis Center in Plano.

They had a very informative Web site (http://www.consultingorthopedists.com/), which I read front to back (during my lunch break, of course...yeah, that's right....) and it really helped me decide to go talk to them. The Q&A was amazing. I felt like the doctor who wrote it really cared about what he was doing. The best part was that it wasn't all about kids or old people.

That day I e-mailed the site to Matt and my parents.

My dad's e-mailed response was golden--classic Dad:

Megan, It appears that your mother is probably the cause of your back problems and I believe that she should have to pay anything that your company insurance does not pay. It would be wise to speak to her about this. Luv ya, dad

He wrote that in a joking way, but I know he really meant that he & mom would help me out no matter what. Joking or not, dad rocks.

I called the doctor the next day to ask about setting up an appointment. I decided I wanted my mother with me. I know, I know. I'm old enough to do this on my own, but she's been through this before & I wanted her input & support. I scheduled an appointment on a day she could take off from work.

That was at the end of August. We just had to wait two more weeks til it was time for the appointment.

The recent past

Bouncing it around
As I said, I've been worried about what to do for a while now.

Matt has been my sounding board, listening to everything and helping me decide whether I should go see a doctor and what I will do if I need surgery. Typically I mention things to him like what he will do if I end up taller than him, will he take care of me while I'm resting--typical girlfriend what ifs.

Monica has equally helped me with this, always giving me the sound advice that I should not worry about the what ifs because I can't do anything about them. She also has a curve of her own. Although I don't know the severity of it, it's been nice to talk to someone else my age who understands. She also has gave me this wonderful little tidbit which I am taking to heart, true or not--she said that women with scoliosis carry additional weight in their stomachs and can get kind of lumpy around there. Ha! That explains so much, or at least I'm going to let it explain it for me. So that is at least something to look forward to after surgery--stretching out my tummy. Watch out, Giselle.

I'd also been dropping little mentions about my back in front of my parents, too. This has been more subtle as I didn't want to worry them and I really didn't want to face any questions they might throw at me. It seemed to make it more real than I wanted.

So I would ask my mom a question here ("how long were you on bedrest after your sugery?") or say something in front of my dad ("I may need to see a chiropractor about popping my back"), but the moment they go too deep into the questions, I backed off.

Then, one night I went to Don & Courtney's for dinner and, with the help of some red wine, started spilling the beans about my back. I remember them both, especially Don, saying that the sooner I figured out what I needed to do the better. His theory was that if I had to have surgery, it would be way better to go through it young than old when I may not be as strong and healthy as I am now. I of course already knew that, but for some reason, it just really opened my eyes to hear him say it.

Ascots, paper gowns and ever-expanding bras

When I Found Out
I found out that I have scoliosis when I was in the sixth grade. It was a mandatory screening for all the kids. The typical way they tell if you have this without an x-ray, is you stand in front of a nurse, bend over and let the nurse run her finger down your spine. If it feels crooked, you may have scoliosis.

So my dad took me to a specialist. My mother had to work, so it was just the two of us. The appointment was awful. They took x-rays, and I spoke with the doctor. He wore an ascot. I thought he was a sailor. (Note to boys--unless you're Christopher Walken, put the ascot down...I'm looking at you David Beckham.)

He told my dad and me that I would need surgery right away. I would be home for so long, in a brace for longer, not able to go to school or play sports. I'd have to walk in the hallways at school at special times when no one else was around who could run into me. I was apparently breakable. I remember crying.

Thankfully, my mother balked at this, and we went elsewhere for a second opinion.

The Consensus
It was decided that I would not need surgery. Apparently, back then, I had a 50-something curve on the right, which was balanced on the left by a second curve. I had no pain whatsoever and couldn't really tell any problems with how I looked, so I was completely against surgery. I ended up having to see a specialist for my back every so often (every year? I don't remember) at a local children's hospital.

The typical appointment was showing up, waiting, taking new x-rays, waiting some more, going to an exam room and seeing a doctor. In the exam room, you wear a glorious paper gown and walk in front of the doctor, let him push and prod at your arms and legs to test strenth and reflexes and then the best part--wearing only underwear (no bras, ladies) he undoes your gown in the back, has you stand in front of him with your back to him and bend over. He then looks at your back, sees where you're uneven and runs his finger down your spine.

For me, then the doctor would say that I still had a bad curve that was slowly expanding, but it wasn't so bad and I didn't have the symptoms to warrant a surgery. Yay, me!

I hated these appointments. It pissed me off that I was different and had to do this. I wanted to ignore that I had this problem and go about my life. It was deformity to me. Wrong and gross and stupid. The moment I was old enough, I stopped going to see the doctor.

At This Time
In the last two years, I've started to have some problems. First, it was the way I look. My chest was expanding and not in the way a 20-something girl wants. I went from a 36 bra to a 38 without actually gaining weight. In fact, I've lost some. Very little, but still.

I can't stand the way I look from the back in most of my clothes. It takes me forever to get dressed. I have to wear button-up shirts in sizes too large so I can button them all the way. Tank tops are a nightmare. Thank God for layering!

Secondly, for the first time in my life, I hurt. By the end of the day, my back was often tense and sore. I always ask Matt to walk on it so it pops. It usually does pop on the right side, but on the left, it seems like nothing ever releases the pressure. It is so annoying. I feel like it is a volcano that needs to erupt. There's so much pressure, but never any release.

I've agonized over these two forever. I could see and feel myself getting worse and really, I've figured for awhile now that the only way to stop this is to have surgery.

I'll get to the rest later.

Breaking the news

Tuesday, I went to the doctor. Wednesday, I e-mailed my family and close friends:

For those of you who do not know, I will be having surgery to correct my scoliosis either at the end of this year or beginning of next. I’m still working out time issues.

I have had increasing back pain in the last couple of years and increased problems with the way I look. I typically keep both these problems to myself, as I am for some reason embarrassed by it.

My back has continued to grow, and I found out yesterday at the doctor’s office that I am now almost two inches shorter than I was in high school. When I was growing up, my curve degree was in the 50 degree range, considered a gray area for surgery. Being young, in no pain, not being concerned with how I look and very concerned about surgery, we (mom, dad, doctors, me) decided to never go through the surgery.

Once I became old enough, I stopped going to specialists about my back. I always hated going as it was. But recently, it has become more and more apparent to me that I needed to go. Mom and I went to see a specialist yesterday.

I apparently am now out of the gray area and am in the 60-degree range. Because my degree has increased by so much in the years since my last appointment in high school, it is my doctor’s opinion that I have surgery to stop it from continuing to grow. I personally don’t want to be one of the hump-backed old ladies I see sometimes. Dr. Hostin said doing the surgery now would prevent complications that I may have if I waited til I was older to do the surgery, when I could be in more pain and not as healthy as I am right now in my life.

I know we all saw mom’s surgery and it was scary. Mine, I have been assured, will not be that bad (insert disclaimer here about the unforeseen). Dr. Hostin said we can just fix the top curve with a rod and leave the bottom curve alone. He believes the bottom curve is a compensation my body has made to manage the top curve and will go away on its own. He ordered more x-rays to confirm this. With just doing the top part, I will keep most of the range of motion and bending that I have now with my back, and the surgery won’t be as risky either.

I will move in with mom and dad at the end of the year, so they can help me out. I plan to move back to Dallas as soon as I can. It will be an easy move for me (sorry Barry!) since I won’t be able to lift anything!

I’ll have to take a month to six weeks off from work, which my boss was really understanding about and is helping me work out a plan to figure out the best way for me to do this. I’m not sure if I’ll have to wear a brace or not, but I can assure you that I will take it off no matter what the doctor says for Janet’s wedding! We’ll discuss that later!

If you have any questions about where I’m going, my doctors have a great and very informative Web site at www.consultingorthopedists.com. I recommend reading the FAQ. You can see Dr. Hostin’s page there, too. I think he’s great and warmed to him immediately when I met him. He spent as much time as I wanted with me and mom yesterday answering our questions and even showing me before and after x-rays of other patients that are similar to me and some that are much worse than me.

One final thing, I know this may seem silly to some of you, but I’m going to start a blog to talk about this and my experiences with it. There’s not a whole lot out there about people my age talking about this and this fulfills one of my life to-do list items (start a blog — check). I know I wish I could read more about what they’ve been through, but most of it is old people or kids. I could care less if anyone reads it. I’ll let you know later what the address is.

xoxo,

Megs

Background--first post, first blog

My name is Megs (kind of). I'm 25 years old, at least for a few more weeks! I have scoliosis. That's what this is about.

Scoliosis is a medical condition in which a person's spine is curved side to side. Often, it also twists in and out.

My curve is an "S" curve. It's what it sounds like. My spine looks like a backwards "s". I have a large curve on the right-side of my back where my shoulder blade is. I'll try to get an image of my x-ray to post on here. My next curve is smaller and down further on the left.

My spine both curves side to side and twists in and out.

Why Blog?
I've decided to start a blog to talk about my experience for three reasons.

One, when researching what people like me have decided to do in these situations, I didn't find a lot. There was very little to no information on women my age going through this. Everything seemed to be about old women and young children. My blog is a chance for me to reach out to others like me--young, 20-something, active women with scoliosis.

Two, blogging is a release. It's my online journal, and I think it will help me to talk myself through this journey.

Finally, for my loved ones, its a chance to keep up with me and what I'm going through. Sometimes it's hard for me to share my emotions and troubles. This is their opportunity to see this side.

I plan on posting a blog at least once a week. There will be more some weeks, of course, but I will always try to have one a week.

So if you've made it through this so far, you must be a) really, really bored b)interested in my experience c)in my family.

Either way, enjoy and read on!